Day 43

Never be afraid to compliment people. Yes, I know this isn't spiritual, again! But it's so important to let people know that you care about them, and you never know when you might just need that little pick me up!

<3
Mel

Day 42

My most grievous apologies, I have once again started slacking. Last week was just so crazy, I was barely home, and when I was, all that I had in me just wanted to sleep. Today, I have a message that can be applied spiritually, but also to life in general.

Always remember who made you what you are. One day, you'll want to thank them.

Love always,
Mel

Day 41

Frustrated. Disgusted. Concerned. Afraid for. Praying for.

Those are my five adjectives that I've decided best cover my emotional spectrum for the BP execs, and the general mess they're in. I'm not saying they shouldn't be the ones to deal with it because I'm a big proponent of the 'you've made your bed now sleep in it' mentality. How else are we to be expected to learn from out mistakes?

Frustrated.

I feel that they should be employing NASA and all of the other geniuses around the world to fix this. Not the people who let the situation continue on to the extent that this catastrophe could happen. Also, they really need to amp up the number of people cleaning up this mess. Let's be honest. They have the money to afford it. Heck, just one of the execs could pay for all of the scientists with a years salary. I feel that instead of making themselves sound like idiots in front of the news crews, that they should be rolling up their sleeves and cleaning off the grass as well as changing the booms with the 20,000 locals that they've hired to do it for them.

Disgusted.

The way that the exec's are speaking, this is a blip on a radar screen to them. This is a nuisance that caused them to miss their tee time with the higher ups in society. I despise the fact they don't realize that entire communities are suffering because of this. You aren't the only ones who want to get back to your lives, so stop acting like it.

Concerned.

Now you must be thinking that you've got my whole stance figured out by from the last two points right? Wrong. Just because they've royally messed up, it doesn't mean it's ok to point and laugh, and jeer, and riot. What good is all the pressure we're putting on them doing? Sure some people preform well under pressure, and they're lucky to be a rarity. Haven't you ever helped a friend who messed up? Punished a child because you loved them- because they need to learn from that mistake, and then given them a hug, even against their will. Why aren't we hugging BP now?

Afraid for.

I'm terrified that people will never see fit to forgive, and let live. It's not as if BP intended for this to happen. Sure they knew it was a possibility due to their erroneous ways, but wanted it to happen? No. Big oil companies do not want to spend their money paying for dish soap to clean birds.

Praying for.

If we don't, who will. I find it sad that while half of America is still more fired up than Chicago in 1871, the other half have forgotten. This is the self-centered society that we live in. I would hope that I am not the only one praying for a multitude of things surrounding this situation.

You'll have to excuse my ranting, as well as my absence. Friday and Saturday I was sick, as well attending my sister's graduation. Following that, I got rather sunburned on the boat, and was sleeping (painfully!) on the couch, because my Grandparents were staying in my room. And then my internet went cahpoot! I feel slightly conspired against :P just kidding!

Love,
Mel

Day 40

Dear God,

Please help me with this emotional burden I'm feeling. I don't understand it, and I'm too afraid to ask for help. It seems so petty with everything that is going on. I'm just feel like I'm stuck in quicksand, please pull me out....

I love you,
Mel.

Day 39

God is certainly answering my prayers directly lately, and it's such a blessing.

This morning I felt like I was sinking in quicksand. Nearly everyone in my life has been impacted by a death within the last few days. People I hardly ever talk to have reached out to me, in need of love and comfort, and don't take this as a complaint. I am extremely willing, and grateful to be able to help them through these times. I think that one of the beautiful disasters about me though, is that at a young age, I became very good at putting on a happy face, smiling on the outside while I was sobbing on the inside. So, in these past couple of days, as people reach for me, I've felt a heaviness on my heart for these people who are reaching me, as well for everyone else impacted by these tragedies. That's another beautifully painful part of me, I can hurt so badly for people I've never met or heard of. The thought of the repercussions of the incidents have been playing in my mind all week, I've spent some of my alone time in tears, my heart breaking for these strangers, and constantly praying for all of them. Emotionally, it's taken a toll on me, and physically as well. The past 2 nights, I've escaped my thoughts by just going to bed.

So this morning I finally caved, and asked the people that go to my youth group to just say a quick prayer for me through Facebook. I didn't bother to divulge into details, just that I was struggling, and that a prayer would be much appreciated.

During the day, it wasn't much easier, there were memorial services for some people to attend, and talk about when funerals were, while others were still trying to sort through emotions, so by the time I got home, I was mentally worn out. And all of this is on top of the fact that I really do not handle death very well. It's something I have always been uncomfortable with because I've never really been able to wrap my mind around it.

But, about an hour ago, I got a phone call from my brother and it just brightened my whole day and lifted me up quite a bit. See, when I was a little girl, I had a big sister, and divorced parents. The whole divorced parents thing is something that to this day I'm still working through on my own because I feel like I can't talk about it to anyone. But through all of that, the thing I wanted more than anything else in the world was big brother, which, seeing as there wasn't one when I was born, it's a silly thing to dream of and wish for because older siblings don't really just appear. But, when I was 12 my mom married another man, and I was graced with not 1 but 2 older brothers AND another older sister. The younger of the brothers has had a huge impact on my life, and has completely filled that 'older brother void'. He's one of my heroes, and one of the best people I know, however I don't get to talk to him often, and rarely see him, aside from the summers, because he lives in Vermont. So, naturally I was quite excited when he called and just wanted to talk to me. Even though we only talked for a few minutes, it was relaxing and relieving to get to hear from him.

It was so funny too, because in my little call for prayers, I phrased how I was feeling as 'struggling to keep my head above the water' and he brought up a day that we went through together that I really can't describe but to say it relates to water would be an understatement. It wasn't a good day at the time, but the night was amazing, and I had forgotten about the night, even though I frequently think about the day time (which is now a fond memory).

Thank you for reminding me that the night is always darkest before the dawn, but the dawn is coming.

God, thank you so much, everyday, you save me, you really do <3

Mel

Day 38

Another thing that has been in the forefront of my mind is my high school swim season, and how I'm going to juggle a relationship with God and school and life and swimming. Now, Bulldog swimming is not for the faint of heart. We run 10 practices a week, 2 hours per practice. Mondays and Thursdays start at 5:45 AM, while Tuesdays and Fridays start at 5:15 AM, and my day isn't over until at the earliest, 5:30 PM, assuming we don't have a meet. Needless to say, I'm exhausted all of first quarter, as well as sore for a lot of the time, and ALWAYS hungry. So with these types of distractions yanking at my attention, I'm terrified that I'm going to drift apart from God during this time, when I will need him close to me to give me strength. I'm hoping that I'll find the balance to be natural to me, but I doubt it because I've never had to handle 2 things that are so important to me, and 2 things that I really don't want to have to give any part of them up. I would greatly appreciate prayers for wisdom, patience, and good health during the beginning of the school year into the fall, as they will surely help my efforts tremendously.

<3
Mel

Day 37

Yesterday and Today I've been feeling something really heavy on my heart, and I'm not going to talk about what it is, but what it's made me realize.

Love life everyday.

That's the only thing I can ask of you right now. Life is such a short, beautiful thing, and you never know when it'll end.

There's a verse somewhere, and I think I've used it on here before, but it says something to the effect of 'never let the sun set on your anger.'

Please? For me?
Mel

Day 36

Allow me to reintroduce myself, I'm Mel. I'm a new believer in God, and yes, I've been slacking majorly that last few months about keeping up with this project! But, summer is almost here, and I'm hoping that during my time off, I'll be able to just go post crazy (:

Well, I would like to share an encounter that I had last week that just opened my eyes wide the power of God.

So, I'm in Pre-Calculus, which is a year ahead of what Juniors are generally supposed to be. Don't ask me how i got ahead in math, I never have been really super good at it. Anyways, I've been doing fairly well this quarter, I've got a B+ in the class which blows my mind. But I was really struggling with grasping the last few days worth of material and when I say struggling, I mean that I didn't know any of it. But, we had a quiz on Thursday, and so much to my dismay, I buckled down to study, and tried to learn the material. For the life of me, I couldn't do it. It just was not possible. So the next day I walked into class, I swear you could hear my heart pounding, because I was so nervous that I was going to fail the test (which happened to be the biggest one we've had so far), and ruin my beautiful, hard-earned B+ going into the final. But I sat myself down in that chair, and silently cried out to God, begging for him to bless me with calmness, wisdom, and strength, and to help me through the test. That test was the first A I've ever gotten on a test. I know that it was all God, there was no part of me in that.

This just shook me, because I've never had such a direct answer to my prayers before. I've never had something like this happen before, and goodness gracious has it ever opened my eyes.

Maybe next time you approach something difficult or trying, you should just take a few minutes and sit down and ask God for guidance and assistance.

Mel

Day 35

Ladies, this one is for us. I'm not going to reflect on this at all, just read it and smile, because it's the truth.

"Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you"

More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz

Mel

Day 34

Happy Palm Sunday (:

I'm stealing this from my pastor's sermon this morning, because I really liked it.

Try to step outside of yourself and see things, step out of your perspective that is naturally self centered. I don't mean this in a cruel way, because we are all self centered by nature. If we weren't how could we survive? Don't look at your needs, look at those around you, look at how you can be of assistance to them. You'll be amazed at how much people will appreciate it!

Mel

Day 33

This is more of an observation, but have you noticed that when you listen to Christian music, you can apply half of the songs to any of your truly strong friendships? I've been noting that lately and it makes me smile, because they are all for the best friend that anyone could ever have.

Mel

Day 32

"Every time I breathe you seem a little bit closer"

Every Time I Breathe by Daddy Weave

All I have to say is do you feel this way? Sometimes I do, and sometimes every breathe makes me feel a million miles further from him.

Mel

Day 31

Well, I'm just not doing too well at keeping up this week am I?? But my topic is a good lesson for everyone to work, especially me with the week I had!

Patience

You can't always thrust things upon people and expect them to understand, let along accept the concept or idea. The same is true with Christianity. I know that it took me years to realize it, because if there is one thing that I believe to the core about accepting God it's that you have to do it for yourself. You can't truly accept him just because your friends want you to, or because it's the cool thing to do. Maybe there is someone who you've been a bit frustrated with, be it religiously or otherwise, and you just can't understand why they don't get it. Take a step back, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and realize that you're only stressing the person out more. Try to be a friend to them, and go from there, it will work wonders.

Mel

Day 30

Do not let the sun go down on your anger.
from Four Souls by Mike Peterson, Matt Kronberg, Jedd Medefind, and Trey Sklar.

Always make your peace with God before you close your eyes.

Mel

Day 29

My other point that I've been thinking about a lot lately is this: it doesn't matter what profession you're in, or what you're doing, if you do it with your whole heart, and let God shine through you, then whether you're a janitor or the president, you're just as important to God. If you're a gas station clerk who truly enjoys their work, and talks a bit with each customer, and cares about each customer, and makes them feel loved, then you are just as awesome in the eyes of God as the pastor who has devoted his every waking minute to God.

Mel

Day 28

Well, I'm not on a good streak lately am I? Anyways, I'd like to ask you to do something in the rest of the time we have today, it's nothing big, but just a little something to brighten someone's day. Maybe get some ice cream on the way home, or maybe let them pick the tv show to watch tonight. Let them see God's light shining through you.

Mel

Day 27

One thing I've learned through my youth group is that people put restrictions on God. Somewhat like 'hey God, can you help me do this? and then saying WAIT what do you mean I'm in trouble for using your name in vain?! I don't care what it means to you, I'm gunna do it!!!' To dumb it down incredibly, you can't just follow half the rules in the game. Anyways, why would you only want God to touch certain aspects of your life? He can help you do everything, he can give you the power to move mountains, the strength to run a million miles, and the love to get you through the hardest of days. So maybe if you're setting these boundaries, you should try letting God consume your whole life, you'll be amazed what it does.

Mel

Day 26

Well, again I'm a bit late, forgive me, I ended up being gone most of last night. But I wanted to use this day to tell you what my answer to the question I asked was. It's fairly simple, but the words mean a lot to me.

Unending love, amazing grace.

These are lyrics from Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin, but they are my what kind of God my God is. Now one thing I was wondering was what is grace actually defined as, and one of the definitions is 'good will' or good intentions. If that's not the truth about our God, then I don't know what is.

Mel

Day 25

Today is extremely short, but I like it. I'm just going to pose a question that I was asked at my youth group a few weeks ago. Chew it over, it's a really good one.

What kind of God is your God???

Mel

Day 24

I'll be by your side, where ever you fall,
In the dead of night, whenever you call,
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you,
My hands are holding you.
By Your Side (chorus) by Tenth Avenue North

I heard this song for the first time at Winter Jam on friday night, and I am head over heels for it. I can picture a scene so easily to this chorus. It's a dark, thunder-stormy night, and you're walking alone across a bridge because you got stood up by the person you've had a crush on forever. You haven't got a clue where you are, and you end up just sitting on the side of the road, crying your eyes out, when out of no where your best friend pulls up, parks, and climbs out to sit next to you. That magic 'best friend connection' gave them the feeling something was wrong, and so they'd been searching all over for you. Now you'll have to make up your own mental image, because that's my what my high school girl head has come up with. But magnify that times a million and you'll have an inkling of how much of a friend and father God is. Wonderful, isn't it?

Mel

Day 23

Wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.
Proverbs 20:1

I'll be quite honest, I go to high school, I'm surround by drinkers, alcoholics, and druggies, and I know this isn't how it's supposed to be, but it's the way it is. I myself do not drink, nor do I do drugs, but I can't say that I've never been tempted to. My decision to skip the whole high school 'dude I got sooooooo smashed this weekend' party scene has not been without consequences. I've been made fun of and laughed at, even worse lost friends. I don't even think I could give you a reason why I don't want to drink, because I don't have one, and I'm not really against teen drinking (so long as you aren't getting hammered), so it's been hard for me to say no sometimes. Some of my friends would invite me to the parties, but I would decline because I didn't want to be around it because I knew they were drinking to get drunk and that's just ridiculous. With some of them, I began to realize that the partying was becoming far more important than our friendship, so we parted ways. It is relieving to see that the Lord also feels this way, and things like drinking should never take president over your relationship with him. This makes me feel more....comfortable I suppose, in my relationship with him because he knows what I've been through, and like a the true friend he is, he's always got my back.

Mel

Day 22

Today is more of a topic than a specific verse or chorus.

Prayer (:

I am always forgetting to pray, and I feel terrible about it, but I know I am not alone. Life kind of sweeps you away and it's hard to remember to get everything done in a day, so things must become expendable. One thing I keep trying to work on is making prayer one of the inelastic ones, but it's been pretty difficult. I do love praying, it's a good thing for me. It's calming, I can get things off my chest, kind of review my day, figure out what I like and don't like about what I'm doing, what I want to be doing, as well as sort out my feelings about everything under the sun. I know for a rather long time, I prayed that the snow would melt and the sun would shine, and I now find myself praying for a thunderstorm because I love them so much. Prays can be that simple. Sometimes, I find my prays ramble on and on about one particular topic, and can get rather emotional about it. But guess what-I know that God is listening to those prayers just as much as my simple ones. I also like to pray for people who I myself cannot help, like the Haitians and the Chileans. One thing that I've noticed about myself, and more prevalently in my prayers, is that I feel more pain for the people who I cannot physically help. Another thing that I like to do is pray in a group, just going around in a circle. It has brought me a lot closer to some people, and openned new friendships up to me that I never thought would exist. But the best thing of all about praying is getting to talk to the greatest father ever (:

Mel

Day 21

Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins and he said, "Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."
Luke 21:1-4

This verse made me smile because it is the honest truth. If the Lord lays it on your heart to give something, then do not be afraid to, even if the amount seems too immense. He will always find a way to pull you through!!!

Mel

Day 20

Last night I went to the Winter Jam tour, and it was AMAZING! Previously, I mentioned how you don't have to be a superstar at anything for God to love you, and Tony Nolan said this in the best way possible last night as he was speaking.

"You don't have to be better for him because he was better for you."
Tony Nolan

Mel

Day 19

Another quick one today! A really cool way (for me atleast) to connect with God is through music. Music has always been really important to me, and now more than ever because it has a lot more meaning. So while you're driving in your car or getting ready in the morning, maybe you should flip on the radio to the Christian station and listen, or even sing a long! God would love to hear you sing about him!

Mel

Day 18

"God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand"
Let The Waters Rise by Mikeschair

I was asked the question 'what's the best thing he (God) has ever done for you?' Things started flying through my mind and at first I settled on the fact that he re-accepted me after I rejected and even hated him for years, but that got me thinking. I decided that his re-accepting me was more of a result, but the truly wonderful thing was that even when I was running away from him in every direction as fast as I could, he still loved me. Here today, looking back, especially at the beginning, even I don't love that me. Still, God persisted after me, and continued to love me, blessing me with friends who would eventually lead me back to him, after 4 years of what probably seemed like hopeless efforts. He loved me so much when I deserved nothing but the worst, that is how beautiful our God is.

Mel

Day 17

Never be afraid to talk to God about anything.

I'm keeping it reallllly short today. Talking to God about whatever is on your mind is like talking to the best friend in the entire universe. He won't judge you, or treat you wrong, or anything like that because of what you tell him because he loves you far too much.

Mel

Day 16

"Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust"
Unbreakable by Fireflight

The realization that finals were today hit me like a brick wall yesterday (side note, sorry this is a few hours late, I was rather frazzled yesterday). I have 3 A's and a C right now, in fact, I could just not take 3 of those finals, and I'd still end up with 2 A's and a B. Either way, those aren't really the class I'm worried about. The other one is pre-calculus and my mom told me last night that if I don't get a B in the class, I might not be allowed to go to youth group, and all I could say was 'thanks for the added stress and pressure'. I would have to get a B+ on the final...this is a very intimidating thought since I haven't even gotten a B+ on a regular test in the class! But after cramming last night, like I will again this afternoon, I took a few minutes to read my bible, and all of my tension just faded away. It was good to know that God was with me, and that he would help me through this because I am certainly all too nervous to do it by myself.

Mel

Day 15

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
Matthew 5:44-45

In my sociology class we are wrapping up with the steps of prejudice, the last of which is genocide. Of course there is one example with ample information and teaching material, the Holocaust, so we talked about it in detail, as well as other lesser known genocides. Talking about the Holocaust not only fires me up, but it gets me quite a bit depressed because I always feel like I should have done something. Naturally, this is a silly thing to feel because I wasn't even a whim of thought at the time it was occurring, but none the less I feel guilty. I'm incapable, as I always have been, of understanding how there could be so much hatred to kill so many innocent people. It got me thinking about how I had previously talked about persecution, how I had said that we would be persecuted by those around us, but I realized that I failed to see the other half of the story. In our efforts to spread God's light, we cannot persecute those around us. Now obviously that includes a genocide, but also the small things, like a person to person level,. We can't see those who we are reaching out to as inferior no matter how hard it is. The first verse I memorized helps me a lot when I start to think that way:

Blessed are the poor in spirits, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:2

Mel

Day 14

"Savior I come, quiet my soul."

Lead Me To The Cross by Hillsong United

I have a rather tough time sleeping, staying a sleep, or getting 'good' sleep at night, usually in 2 or 3 month stretches. This is naturally frustrating, let alone tiring and boring. But a week or so ago, I woke up from a terrible nightmare and was far too afraid to go back to sleep. I was laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling like I usually do, but an idea popped into my head. Why not spread some quality time with God? It was extremely refreshing, laying there in a silent house, my fear slowly slipped away so I was completely calm and relaxed. I loved the good time we spent, it felt like I was the only one in the entire world and that it was just me and him talking like the oldest of friends. It's comforting to be reminded that no matter what time of day he will always be there to listen. Even more so, I learned that we will communicate best if I can just calm my soul and focus solely on God. Maybe those stretches of sleepless nights aren't such a nuisance, but rather a blessing in disguise, a good time to talk to God.

Mel

Day 13

Today I don't have any verses, stories, or lyrics that I've selected. Just a simple saying:

Be yourself.

God has made you that way for a reason, don't change yourself to make other people like you because none of them matter nearly as much as Jesus, God, or the plan he has for us. Embrace yourself so you can make the most of your time here.

Mel

Day 12

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 27:6

I suppose that this has 2 sides to it, both rather short, but important all the same. The first- God never intended for us to make this journey alone, and no I'm not pointing out again that he is walking along with us (though he is!), but rather that we have our friends to lean on. It is so helpful to have at least some friends that are strong Christians so that they can reign you back in if you start to slip, or just answer/deliberate questions that you have. God wants us to not only help the others come to know him, but also keep each other in his grace.

Secondly, and this is more of a personal decision, but the moment I accepted God, I stopped hating. I don't mean to say that I was an extremely hateful person, because I wasn't, but there were just a few people who I refused to talk to, or even acknowledge. How could I hate them? I don't know why they are the way they are. How can I ever expect to draw people closer to God with malice in my heart? I don't think I could, so I had to change, and I think that is one thing you should never be afraid of doing, changing for God.

Mel

Day 11

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:8-10

It is a given that as a true Christian, we have faith in God, but at my youth group tonight, we touched on how God also has faith in us, and I would like to share that a bit because the thought made me smile quite a bit. Every person on this earth was born through God, each of us with a specific plan in his mind. We were created, each different, to help us fulfill these plans, which is all amazing and wonderful on it's own. But to step back now, and know that God is walking with me, by my side through my life, helping me to continue on this journey. To know that he believes in me, and loves me, and wants only what is best for me, that he has faith in me is such a catalyst in my desire to use my life to serve him.

Mel

Day 10

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we are being killed all the day long, we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For i am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39

Persecution is a day to day battle for people of faith, I know that it was one that was pretty quick to find me in my faith. The first person I told about re-accepting Christ into my life laughed in my face and told me to have fun with my invisible friend, and call me when I came back to reality. Naturally, this was a bit of a shocker to me, I had known this guy for quite some time and he was willing to brush me off so quickly. In fact, I have since been a bit shy about telling anyone that I've re-accepted God. I immediately started to question by decision, but realized that it was silly to because the rest of my friends have accepted my choice with warmth and support. It became clear to me quickly that people will always try to bring you down, but you have to stand tall, and be unbreakable in your faith. Something that helped me was hope, and the thought that one day the world will come to realize that there is only one God, and he is the true king.

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all"
Hope by Emily Dickinson (just the first stanza)

Mel

Day 9

But you, oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord and he answered me from his holy hill.
Psalm 3:3-4

I spent a good chunk of my evening hunkered in with my Bible because, well...it just sounded like a wonderful plan. Usually I'll be reading along and a verse or two in particular will just stand out to me, but today it seems I was a bit harder to please. Now, that is something that I try to do each day, find a verse that speaks to me because not only does it makes me smile, and I love smiling, but it gives me something to chew over during the next day or so. In my efforts, I decided to flip to Psalm, and I love Psalm, because it's filled with little to-go sized tidbits of prayers and knowledge.

This spoke to me because I think that no matter how young or old you are in your faith it never hurts to have someone remind you that God is always listening to you, and he will answer. It may not always be the answer you desired, but he will never leave you high and dry. I hope that in the worst of my days, someone would remind me of this because it is such a blessing to know that even when you feel like the whole world around you doesn't care, God will always be listening. You can ramble for hours and days about the most petty things or the silliest of thoughts, and yet he will listen attentively, but why? Because he loves you.

Mel

Day 8

For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:32-33

I started reading a book during my first class today because I have to write a paper on a biography. The one I picked was (unintentionally) the shortest book, but it sounded fairly interesting all the same. Boy was I ever surprised, I couldn't put the thing down all day. Some of the verse above is quoted in the book, and I thought that it fit well for what I'd learned today. The book is called She Said Yes by Misty Bernall, it is a a true story about a mother recollections of her what lead her daughter (Cassie) to finding Christ, and how she was fatally persecuted for her faith. Cassie Bernall was one of the students killed in the tragic accident at Columbine High School in 1999. Within a few years prior to her death, Cassie went through a dramatic, life altering encounter with Christ, and her life was salvaged because of it. She became a bright light in her school and church because she always put her relationship with God first, not matter how much of a struggle it was. I know that this is something that I certainly need to remind myself of occasionally, because it is hard to do, but it is so rewarding to be that close to him, and I pray that we all start putting God first in our lives, because he can and will truly work miracles in our lives.

I would recommend that anyone struggling in their faith read the book She Said Yes by Misty Bernall, it won't take more than a few days on the busiest of schedules, but the lesson is well worth it.

Mel

Day 7

"Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save
But Your Name"
Your Name by Paul Baloche and Glenn Packiam

I was at Church and Sunday School today, and we talked about what joy really is. The topic made me smile because I know that I have never been so happy in my life, nor loved my life as much as I have since I reaccepted God into my life. We also touched on how you'll come to know Jesus and God the most when you are in your darkest hours. When you're leaning on them for complete strength, because everyone else you've turned to has been unable to help you. I, along with many others I am sure, can say now, in the happy times can say that we would never turn away from Jesus, but when push comes to shove, we have to have faith, because he will lead us through. Jesus is not looking down upon us watching, he is walking through the darkness with us, and I would pray that we all take it upon ourselves to remember this in the future so that when tough times come, it will be easier for us, knowing the we are not alone in our struggles.

Mel

Day 6

"Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
Corinthians 10:12-13

This verse has lingered on my mind since Thursday because of something that was brought to the front of my mind again. My freshman year was a bit traumatic, I won't lie. It definitely helped me find my core beliefs. Despite the fact that I may not have believed in God at the time, I do think that he still believed in me, and he tested me. On Thursday, our youth pastor asked us what bothered us about our non-christian friends, and I was reminded of people who I was no longer friends with because they had drifted into the party scene, with drinking and drugs. We didn't drift apart because they partied, but rather because they placed the partying before our friendship and my morals. I would try to hang out with them, but they'd always have one party or another to go to, though they frequently invited me. I tried explaining that I didn't want to drink or do drugs, or be in at a party where it was going on, but it didn't change anything. They didn't understand that while it didn't bother me that they drank (not to say I supported it), it did to be around it happening. So after a while, we just drifted apart from each other. I can't say for sure if God was testing me, but I know that either way, it was not easy to say no to those parties, because eventually I knew that saying no to those parties was saying goodbye to those friends, but even in times since I know that he as tested me, and I can't say it any better than my Coach does during a hard practice 'You will walk out of here, the sun will rise, , you'll wake up tomorrow, and life will go on.' You just have to trust in the Lord and he will pull you through.

Mel

Day 5

On the mountain height of Israel will i plant it, that it may bear branches and produce fruit and become noble cedar. And under it will dwell every kind of bird; in the shade of its branches birds of every sort will nest. And all the trees of the field shall know that i am the Lord; bring low the high tree, and make high the low tree, dry up the green tree, and make the dry tree flourish. I am the Lord; I have spoken, and I will do it.
Ezekiel 17:23-24


God is so amazing, he can build you up higher than the mountains. He is all knowing and fair, if you don't follow his rules, he will forgive you, but you will reap your punishment. I love his eternal equality, it's so refreshing in such a biased world. He loves you so much, and he only wants the best for us, he gives us these rules because he knows that we can do so much more than that!

Mel

Day 4

"There is a God who loves me
Who wraps me in His arms
And that is the place where I'm changed
And that's where I belong

Take me to that place Lord
To that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You"
Wrap Me In Your Arms by Martha Munizzi

This is sort of a continuation from yesterday, but we sang this song tonight at my youth group, and I love it. We've sang it before, and I liked it then of course, but I kept thinking about how I felt about From the Inside Out by Hillsong United, and this song is the perfect definition of that feeling. It's safe and wonderful and the best place in the world. God, and I love it when you hold me close because I know that I am home. I would ask that you make me more like you God so that I can spread your light to those who are still in the darkness.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

Mel

Day 3

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace"
From the Inside Out by Hillsong United

About a year ago I went with a few of my friends to their youth group (the one I go to now, and love dearly). I didn't go with any intentions of reconnecting with God, or making new friends, or any of that, I went because I wanted to spend time with my friends, and this group played floor hockey. Really, that was it. A game and some friends got me to start going. The first night I went, From the Inside Out was played during our worship time. The third and fourth lines in the verse above hit me like a freight train. See, whenever I would mess up, people were always criticizing, ignoring, mocking, or yelling at me and it made me resent them so much, even my own family. But the thought that someone loved me unconditionally despite my frequent misgivings was daunting to say the least. A year later, this song is still very important to me, it's like a hug on a bad day. Whenever I feel myself slipping or I'm unsure of things, I just turn it on, and I know that I am at home in God's arms. No judgment or criticism, just love.

Mel

Day 2

"We must be swift as the coursing river,
With all the force of a great typhoon,
With all the strength of a raging fire,
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon."
I'll Make A Man Out Of You From Disney's Mulan

Mulan was on Disney channel yesterday when I was home, and seeing as it is my favorite Disney movie, I of course dropped everything I was doing and settled in to watch it. I had forgotten about the song above being in the movie, but started singing along once I recognized it. In listening to the song, I was thinking 'Wow, they have such high expectations for their soldiers, to be told that you must be as strong as a raging fire is an intimidating thought!' Obviously it's a fictional movie, but it got me thinking, and when I start thinking, I usually don't stop. So then I thought about what our society today expects of us. It's not a hard image to conjure up, at least not for a teenage girl. Tall, thin, long hair, tan skin, and pretty, with expensive clothes. You should be stellar at something, be it sports or academics. And then I thought wow, I'm none of those things, but it didn't bother me so much because I know that God doesn't have those kind of standards. He doesn't care if you're thick or thin, tall or short, tan or albino! He made you as you are for some reason, whether it be known or not, and he loves you that way! Isn't our God wonderful?!

Mel

Day 1

"Like the appearance of a bow that is in the cloud on the day of rain, so was the appearance of the brightness all around. Such was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord." Ezekiel 1:28

Since I was home sick today, I thought I'd get a jump start on a few things that are on a to do list for a youth conference that I'm going to this summer. One of the assignments is to read either Jeremiah, Isaiah, or Ezekiel, and just make little notes, or underline things that strike us in our Bibles. I settled in to take a good chunk of it out today, and found the book to be quite a page turner! I selected this verse today because I love the description, it's such a beautiful vision in my head. God is a wonderful rainbow in the skies, watching over us, I would pray that we all think of him as so.

Mel

Today, I am starting a project, in hopes that it will draw me closer to God. Just a bit over a month ago, I re-accepted him into my life after 5 years of fighting against the truth. I abandoned him in efforts to find something that I could control in my life, I felt that no one could make me believe something if I didn't want to believe it. Thankfully, I had new friends who came into my life, and tried patiently to bring me back to him, and after many, many, many tries, finally they succeeded. I am so excited about having God back in my life, the burden on my shoulders seems lighter, my life is a brighter, happier place to be, and I feel that I once again have a purpose here. If you are struggling or going through hard times, just leave me a comment, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Mel